


Wounds Unhealing

by LBibliophile



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Bingo Fill, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Poetry, Star Spangled Bingo 2020, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LBibliophile/pseuds/LBibliophile
Summary: They say time heals all wounds.But how can he heal when every memoryTears away the slow-forming scab?For:Whumptober 2020 - day 8: Where did everybody go?Star Spangled Bingo 2020 - Home alone
Relationships: Howling Commandos & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Wounds Unhealing

**Author's Note:**

> Post-endgame, I became obsessed with this interpretation of Steve: where he has lost too much to be able to keep starting over again, and the fact that sometimes people come back only makes it worse.

They say time heals all wounds.  
But how can he heal when every memory   
Tears away the slow-forming scab?

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Bucky…_  
Then the memory hits:  
The train, wind, ice, a mask.  
Bucky is gone.  
(There is a man he sees sometimes, wearing his face)  
(But _his_ Bucky is gone as surely as the Stevie he grew up with)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness remains.

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Dum-Dum, or Gabe, or Morita, or…_  
Then the memory hits:  
The final mission, ice, files, gravestones.  
The Howlies are gone.  
(They lived long lives, at least, happy ones, but not long enough)  
(He woke to find gravestones and families he never knew)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness remains.

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Peggy…_  
Then the memory hits:  
A kiss, a promise, ice, a funeral.  
Peggy is gone.  
(He saw her for a while, a pale shadow, withering away)  
(He mourned her twice, the vibrant memory and the fragile echo)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness remains.

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Tony…_  
Then the memory hits:  
A fight, an abandonment, a reunion, a sacrifice.  
Tony is gone.  
(They never saw eye to eye, but there was a certain respect)  
(And in that final moment, Tony _burned_ with the strength of his humanity)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness remains.

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Natasha…_  
Then the memory hits:  
A hope, a mission, a farewell, a bloodprice.  
Natasha is gone.  
(Her sacrifice was lost in their desperate attempts to rewrite fate)  
(How had they never realised she was the glue holding them together?)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness remains.

He’ll see something, and smile  
_I have to remember to tell Sam…_  
Then the memory hits:  
A battle, a failure, a Snap, dust.  
Sam is gone.  
(He drew Sam into this life, relied on him as an anchor)  
(But now Sam is gone, Dusted along with half the world)  
The pain stabs through him, tearing open the scars  
Until only emptiness -

Sam walks into the room.  
(The Snap was followed by another; so many ghosts returned)  
(But he will not hope, will not risk disturbing the tender scabs on his heart)  
_…remember to tell Sam…_  
Steve stays silent;  
And his smile is empty.


End file.
